Time swirls, much like a waterslide that’s interconnected through a series of gnarly loops and twists, a slide that forces you to make specific decisions about which tunnels you’re gonna go through, and sometimes you can make a wrong turn and get caught in a tunnel that feeds into itself, looping over and over. You’re […]

Timeline F49dl2903: Freeze Tag Nation. Through a bizarre series of mishaps, the U.S. President’s four year old son becomes President, declaring martial law and also declaring that a world wide game of ‘Freeze Tag’ is to take place. Eventually, most of the world’s population is ‘frozen’, without home base in sight or anyone around to […]

Timeline RJ23D12: CarnieWorld. Earth is blanketed with a global carnival. This may sound fun, but the rides are shoddily made, the games are all rigged, and the prizes are sub par. Plus, at the end of a day at the carnival, people like to go home and rest. People don’t like to drive home from […]

Timeline E238g: Truthful Tabloids. Everything that every tabloid has ever printed turns out to be true. President Bat Boy leads the remainder of the free world in a battle against psychic toasters, vampire cats, trailer park tyrannosaurs, and two headed babies. Tweet This Post

There are many parallel timelines that you, good time traveler, could choose to visit on your temporal vacation. Some, like the all-nude dimension of nerdy-sporty sexually adventurous gals, are a rompin’ good time. Others… not so much. Here are a few timelines you would never, ever want to visit: Timeline B2353D: The Great Cheese Rebellion. […]

Even if you do really hear from a true-blue alternate version of yourself, keep in mind that your evil counterparts will be far more motivated to contact you than your good ones will because: (a) They want you for spare parts. Why waste time creating a clone for your organ transplants when the clones will […]