Time travelers are often known for doing good, for putting right what once went wrong. However, there are some wrongs so atrocious that the only way to fix them is to find whoever is responsible and pop them in the face. Recently I asked the twittersphere “If you could punch anyone from history in the […]

It’s a commonly known fact that the first living thing ever to be transported in time was a dog named Sir Scruffles. The first nonliving thing ever transported through time, however, was a sandwich. At a Chicago fundraiser dinner in 1934 a Caucasian male appeared in the coat closet, wearing a combination of a scuba […]

The day the Earth was stolen: Linda Glumgold reportedly ‘stole’ the Earth on April 21, 2476. As far as the scientific community can tell, the Earth was in no way moved or altered that day by the actions of Ms. Glumgold, but the local authorities could in no way dissuade her from her certainty of […]

The attempted kidnapping of Bill Cosby: This heist is more of a series of heists, famous for three reasons: (1) The spectacular lengths which people were willing to go to in order to kidnap Mr. Cosby, (2) the incredible frequency in which people attempted to kidnap Mr. Cosby, and (3) the phenomenal ways they failed. […]

A time traveler by the name of Jerome Goldberg once visited colonial America and found his time machine to be completely without power. After approaching Benjamin Franklin, Jerome carefully explained his predicament to him. Jerome then told Franklin that they should hook up a kite to the back of his time machine so that lightning […]

Time travelers are often known to use their knowledge of history to give themselves an unfair advantage, taking whatever they want and laughing all the way to the bank. Out of the many, many heists perpetrated by time travelers, there are a few that stand out for the ingenuity and insanity behind them, such as: […]